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Content Warning

Just like last time, I’ve bleeped all of the swears

there are only a few

bar one, which is in the intro sequence. It’s an instance of “bastard” and really fit with the nature of the sketch we were going for. But if this is a problem, skip ahead by 30 seconds as soon as the episode starts to play, and you’ll skip right past it.

Notes

Squidge, Lulu, Chief Problems, and I have a long discussion on Kingdom Hearts 3 and Final Fantasy XV. Spoilers abound folks, so please skip this episode if you haven’t played either game because spoilers abound

as I found out – much to my chagrin

Squidge and Chief start by blowing my mind with their perfect description of the main character of Sora – the Kingdom Hearts series. Squidgey and Lulu refuse to talk about the overarching story of the Kingdom Hearts, mainly because it’s so convoluted

check the External Links of Interest section for a pretty comprehensive video on the entire plot of the KH series

Lulu then attempts to explain just why Sora has a keyblade… without going into the story. It turns out that the keyblades were pretty rare in the beginning, but by Kingdom Hearts 3

which, according to wikipedia, is the 13th game in the series?!

everyone and their Mums have a keyblade. Which makes Lulu lament on the fact that she can’t possibly play all of the games in the series

and not just because some of them were only released in Japan

But Squidgey is happy because you can fight monkeys

which I’m going to leave at that

and Chief adds that to the pros column

you think you know a guy

Then Squidgey tells us what he’s been taking photos of in the game. I’m not sure you’ll be ready to hear it, but know that it’s a perfectly Squidgey-esque thing to do.

This give Lulu a chance to tell us why she thinks a lot of video games have camera modes in them. And I have to say, I think she got it spot on.

A slight warning about KH3 though:

for the majority of it, it’s quite light-hearted. But when they decide to hit with the feels train, they hit you hard

– Lulu

Which leads Squidge and Lulu into a conversation about how the original release of the first Kingdom Hearts game had unskippable cutscenes

the bane of any gamer who has lost a fight to any boss, anywhere

And Chief reminds us of the dialogue heavy section of Final Fantasy VII in Calm – i.e. the longest chain of dialogue boxes in hyperbole. He then shows us just how gullible he can be when it comes to long chains of dialogue boxes.

Both Squidgey and Lulu highly rate Kingdom Hearts 3 and would definitely recommend folks playing it

if they’ve played the other console titles that is

but they both agree that trying to get the entire story, including the minutia would take a lot of effort.

Then we turn to Final Fantasy XV, a game which Lulu really enjoys, a lot of fans didn’t get, Chief played without paying much attention to it, Squidgey has just started, and something I knew every little about.

There just wasn’t enough. I think I described it once as “it’s a bit like a Michael Bay film, you can’t see what’s going on.” I know that I’ve won, but I don’t really know how

– Chief

Which leads us to a discussion on Final Fantasy’s summons. In previous games, you could summon a god-like creature

most being based on real-world Gods and creatures from myth and legends

but in later games they’ve become background characters.

Lulu does us the favour of explaining why FFXV is a bit of a mixed bag of slightly lacking game play, and a serious reduction of story

for a Final Fantasy game, that is

and even lets us know that she completed the game before any of the extra content or game changing patches came out. Btu she does talk about how the fight with the Leviathan is a little like the first time you take on Sephiroth

damn you Uematsu for writing such amazing music!

Lulu then drops the bomb that it’s gamers in the West who earn Square-Enix all of their money – you’ll have to listen as to why that’s so, but it checked out when I researched it.

Even though there’s a lot missing from FFXV, the main characters are exceptionally realistic

what I love about [Prompto] is that you see him trying to run somewhere, slip, roll, and try to get back up. He’s not perfect, he keeps falling over or slipping or tripping on stuff while the others will just jump over it

– Squidge

The conversation of FFXV brings us around to the topic of the Final Fantasy VII Remake, and we get into some wild speculation as to what we could get. Square-Enix have been extremely tight lipped about the remake, whereas they were incredibly open about FFXV’s development. Lulu even drops the bomb that this year’s Distant World’s concerts are focused on FFVII – maybe something will be announced there. Who can say?

Lulu also reminds us that I told her to put FFXIII on her C.V

or resume, if you’re that way inclined

because she’s one of the few people that I know who actually sat through that disaster of a corridor simulator.


One last thing before I end the show notes: we’re taking a little break in April. Essentially, both Squidgey and myself are going on vacations. Squidge is having a staycation

as far as I know, anyway

and I’m jetting off to Japan for a little while. Because of this we’re not going to release anything in April, so this will be the penultimate episode until May.

But I’m going to be recording some stuff while I’m out in Japan, and will make those recordings into an episode when I get back – so keep an ear open for them, I guess.

Games Mentioned

  • Kingdom Hearts 3
  • The Bouncer
  • Final Fantasy XIV
  • Spider-Man (2018)
  • Final Fantasy IX
  • Fifa (series)
  • Dark Souls (series)
  • Final Fantasy VII
  • Vagrant Story
  • Final Fantasy X-2
  • Final Fantasy XV
  • Final Fantasy VIII
  • Final Fantasy VII Remake
  • Fortnite
  • Final Fantasy XIII

the novella that Lulu mentioned

Music

Links to the music used in the podcast can be found below. Definitely check them out, because they’re amazing tracks by awesome musicians.

Comments

Leave a comment in the section on this page and let us know what you liked, what you didn’t like and which games you’d like to hear us waffle on about next time.

Until then,

Game on!

Jamie is one of the Waffling Taylors. He spends a lot of time blogging about things sometimes related to programming and sometimes not.